About Me & The Gory Details of My Social Media Presence

July 3, 2014 — spaf

With time, I continue to attract new readers/links/friends/stalkers/tails/parasites&symbionts/alien monitors.   I hope it is because people find some of what I am posting to be of interest, as well as the usual infestation of spambots and imaginary beings (about 80% of my followers, I reckon).

It is probably time to once again lay out a little about my online presence to help make things clearer to all of you bots (and to help me keep it straight). As it is, you may see multiple versions of me online and question your sanity, instead of spending your time wisely questioning my sanity.  So think of this as a service, to you.

First, About Me

Yes, I am that Spaf, assuming you have heard something about me before.  By day, I am a moderately well-known scientist, professor, and commentator, with a focus on issues of cySpafford_Eugene1_colorber security, privacy, ethics, and national policy, often with a somewhat off-kilter point of view.  You can visit my about.me page for links, or see my (incomplete) Wikipedia page. In 2023, IEEE Spectrum published a profile of me.

The rest of the time (well, all of the time) I alternate between philosophy and humor, with an emphasis on the humor.  Oh, and a certain amount of snark and political commentary.  During election years I tend to be particularly active politically as I am usually appalled with at least one party that is promoting stupidity and bigotry.  Still, I try to point that out with humor, when I can.

And yes, I wear bow ties.  That has been one of my signature items for over 25 years.  And the beard has been there for over 40 years.

A quick summary of many of my social media sites and background is available at about.me/spaf.

About My Postings

First, I try to maintain three distinct, segregated streams of material in my social media. (You can skip to the links if you don’t want to read the details.)

Professional/Career Items

One stream is more or less related to my “day job” as a university professor at a major university.  There, I post in a blog on an irregular basis.   I have a LinkedIn account that I use to maintain professional  contacts with others. I have profiles at ResearchGate and Academia.edu that I don’t do a good job of maintaining, but may be of value. All of this tends to be serious and professional, and sounds like more that it is.

I have a LinkedIn account that I use to maintain professional contact with others. I have profiles at ResearchGate and Academia.edu that I don’t do a good job of maintaining, but may be of value. All of this tends to be serious and professional.   Oh, and what have I done in security?  You can see a partial list of my more noteworthy accomplishments here.

Personal

A second stream is more fun oriented, but sometimes serious.  In my WordPress blog I post items of a personal nature — sometimes intended to be funny or quirky (such as my history of my branch of the Spafford family) or serious (my 2009 reflections on 9/11).

I maintain an active Mastodon account as myself, and a Facebook account; I used to use Twitter, but after it was acquired by a certain megalomaniac who is encouraging far-right idiots and bigots, I stopped using the service.  In both there will be a range of the bizarre and the unusual that make me laugh or shake my head: basically, things that I think are worth seeing.  Readers will also pick out some of my thoughts on politics, posers, organized religion, and annoying celebrities (among others); I’m not too reserved about some of my views. The Mastodon and Facebook feeds have some cross-connect, but the feed-across is sporadic — if you are constructing a psych profile on me, you should probably follow both.  I also post answers to Quora from time to time, and very rarely, images to Pinterest.  I maintain a legacy mailing list named web-heads that gates into a Tumblr blog.

None of my posts in any of these outlets should be construed as having any official endorsement or connection with official positions or activities of my employer or organizations with which  I work!  Stated differently, these are my own peculiar views only and I am the only person to blame (well, maybe my family and “The Voices” influenced me). NB: some of these posts may well include items of an adult nature, so beware if you are easily offended.

ACM, etc.

My third collection is not quite out in the open as an independent stream.  I am involved in activities related to ACM, IEEE, ISSA, AAAS, and other professional organizations. You may see posts in some places from me related to those. Those outlets shouldn’t be viewed as related to either of the first two streams.

I am on the board of directors of a charitable organization: Sightline Security.  You may see references to it.

Along with all of that, I also sometimes put things into a Facebook group page and a LinkedIn group, both of which are for people interested in CERIAS at Purdue University.

More Generally

Miscellaneous

I have a bunch of other accounts that you aren’t likely to see active any time soon — Flickr, YouTube, BuzzFeed, and even MySpace, among others.  I set those up simply so there wouldn’t be anyone else sending stuff out as “spaf”. Unfortunately, I got to a few too late, plus a few require that usernames be more than 6 characters long.  Thus, some of them have items such as “TheRealSpaf” as identities.

You may be wondering where I find the time to post all of this stuff.   The answer is in parts.  First, I actually am limited a lot of the time: I have a chronic RSI issue that sometimes limits my ability to type.  I thus have less productivity than many of my peers, especially because it becomes more difficult to hit deadlines. Short posts and mouse clicks are much easier for me when my hands hurt.  Second, I have chronic insomnia, so a lot gets shared with a few mouse clicks when I should be asleep (or sedated).  And third, I use several bots and scheduled jobs to meter out material over time rather than the bursty schedule at which I actually use the services.   This is basically a trick from Mother Nature — I use fluff and timing to make myself appear bigger to potential predators, er, the orderlies.  Note that there are likely to be quiet periods where you don’t see much from me: I’m either busy, my hands are messed up, or I’ve been abducted by a UFO.  Again.

If you have questions or comments on anything I post, please let me know.   If you want to repost any of the items be sure to use the appropriate mechanism.  In particular, if you want to use material from my blogs then either quote excerpts with appropriate credit, or provide a link back to the original.  That is polite, professional, and legal.

Linking to Others

If I don’t know you and have not interacted with you in some significant way, don’t bother to ask that I “friend” you on Facebook.  As it is, I need to trim what I have as the definition of “friend” is rather stretched there. If you are who you say you are and actually a real friend, send me some email to prove it and mention the Facebook account.  However, you can “follow” my posts if you want to see them — almost all are public.

If you can prove who you are and that there is a reason I should connect with you on LinkedIn, I may.  The threshold is lower there than Facebook, but still non-trivial.

Blocking

If you try to send me spam, I will report it and block you.   Same general response with things that are intended to insult me, or are full of bigotry or vitriol towards any group not itself devoted to bigotry and/or vitriol.  That doesn’t mean you have to agree with me on everything.   I have many friends and corresponding links where we cannot have a conversation about politics or religion without getting a little spirited.  I value reasoned differences, but don’t expect me to keep quiet with my opinions — and don’t expect me to continue to link to you if you are rude, stupid and/or obnoxious.

Note as of 2023: If you attempt to justify, defend, or promote the hateful and deceitful behavior of the previous POTUS, I will block you.  He was and is a danger to democracy in the US and world safety.  Shame on anyone who thinks he is somehow reasonable.  The same goes for anyone promoting or defending: Qanon, a flat earth, chemtrails, bigotry of any sort, anti-vaccine rhetoric, or other conspiracy nonsense.  I have no time or energy to put up with stupid or hateful people.

Professional Stuff

Personal Stuff

Miscellaneous

…and…

If you are interested in miscellany about me, you can check out:

Finally

Do check out my recent book, Cybersecurity Myths and Misperceptions. It is available at all the usual book sites, and via the publisher (Pearson/Addison Wesley) at this link.

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Once Upon A Time I Was the Easter Bunny

March 30, 2024 — spaf

One aspect of being a little gullible and not at all concerned about appearances, is that I will dress in costume for a good cause. The first real case of this, outside Halloween, was in high school. I was president of the student council. We were having a spring fair where the money raised was going to a charity — I think it was Easter Seals. Two of the other officers (on whom I had crushes that never went anywhere, because neither was into the idea of dating the Pillsbury Dough Boy) got the bright idea that we should have someone dress up as the Easter Bunny at the fair. We’d get a Polaroid camera, and charge $1 to have little kids get their pictures taken with the Easter Bunny. We’d raise a lot of money for charity, and the kids would be entertained. Clearly, this was a great idea, until the topic turned to who would be the Bunny. All eyes turned to me.

It took a little convincing (well, darn little, actually; both knew she could talk me into near anything, and often did, but never anything I really wanted). However, I accepted on the condition that the others in the group had to find and obtain a bunny suit. I figured I was safe, because the fair was a week away, and where could they possibly find a bunny suit?

Where indeed. I never did discover where, but they found one. Saturday morning of the fair, they showed up with a complete suit: A huge paper maché head with big ears. White terrycloth top. 3 pairs of white, somewhat threadbare terrycloth pants. (3 pairs!?) And a box of cotton-ball puff tails with Velcro to attach to the pants.

With a resigned sigh, I donned the costume and took my seat, awaiting the first child. Who was terrified of this huge white figure with big ears and large teeth. Whose mother insisted he be put kicking and screaming in my lap. Whereupon he kicked me in a spot sensitive both to bunnies and to men in bunny suits. The paper maché head continued to grin while I momentarily lost consciousness inside the suit. My “whoof” of pain was muffled and baffled by the echo inside the head, and undoubtedly came out as some kind of cute bunny noise. Mom picked the little terror up, warned him “The bunny will bite you if you do that again!” (adding to his panic and terror) and put him back in my lap. I could only grunt through the waves of pain, so I couldn’t do anything to reassure him as he cowered in the shadow of my ears. So, with mom covering his escape route, and me holding tightly to his legs to keep from a repeat of the kick, the flashbulb went off and he proceeded to show me why the costume had come with extra pants.

He peed his pants. And my bunny pants. And on into my real pants under the rabbit pants. Not just a little, either. The kid must have been to a keg party prior to coming to see the Easter Bunny. Me? I was just being a big dumb bunny noticing that my leg was getting very warm. The kid is going “Uh-oh” and his mother is starting to apologize profusely. It takes a while for the reality to sink in, but suddenly I jump up and swear. Whereupon the mother gets very offended, grabs her kid’s hand, and walks off in a huff.

So, one kid into the morning, and we had to shut the booth. Karen and Donna (the Bunny’s attractive helpers and co-conspirators) were laughing so hard, they nearly wet themselves too (would have served them right) as the Easter Bunny retired backstage to change.

Backstage, with the head off, I surveyed the damage. A huge wet spot on my jeans. The rabbit pants were clearly wet and stained, too. So, I changed the rabbit pants and left my jeans off to dry. After all — I had the rabbit pants on, and there was no sense spending the morning smelling like I was a rabbit that hadn’t been house trained.

Back into the breech I went. At least two hours went by before the second child had an accident. This time, it was a little girl. Instead of screaming and kicking, though, she was petrified. She didn’t move. She didn’t say a thing. Her mother put her in my lap and kept saying “Go ahead, dear.” After the picture, she said “Wait a moment — my little girl wants to give the Easter Bunny something.” I figured it was a kiss, as most of the little girls had been kissing my paper maché cheek. So I bent my head her way.

Apparently, the sight of a huge head with big teeth making a lunge for her was more than she could bear. In a clear sign that physiologists don’t actually field-test their ideas, her “fight-flight” reflex clearly became the “fight-flight-pee gallons and gallons” reflex and we had to close the booth again. This time, because I was not wearing pants underneath, it streamed down my leg and into my shoe. I reemerged as the Easter bunny wearing only a T-shirt (it was hot under that costume!), undies, and the dratted Bunny costume. We put up a sign saying “no pictures in the Easter Bunny’s lap” as we were now on the last pair of dry pants. We figured if the kids stood next to me, the worst they could do is make the tile a little wet.

During all of this we also discovered why there was a box of spare tails. Every time I got up to take a break, some smart aleck kid would run up, grab my tail, and run off. I couldn’t look around to watch for them, either — if I turned my head it only went around inside the rabbit costume and I saw the inside of the cheek; if I turned too much, I hit the cheek and my glasses would fall off inside the head. Plus, I couldn’t run in the suit to chase the kids. So, I lost a lot of tails and the girls took great fun in slapping new ones on to the Velcro in the back, often harder than necessary.

When we got down to the last two tails, we decided to be a little more conservative and put safety pins in the one on the 3rd pair of pants. I went out and sat down.

Everything was going fine for a while. The kids stood next to me for their pictures, and there were no more accidents. The tail stayed put despite small tugs until my helpers or the kids’ parents could disengage the fingers associated with the tugs. I thought we might finally make it through the day intact.

Then, in the line, appeared a comely young lady. I had thought she might be the mother or older sister of one of the kids in line. She was in her mid-20s, I would guess, and not a student at my school. In fact, inquiries afterwards revealed that no one knew who she was — no one I asked had ever seen her before (or after).

When she got to the head of the line, it was clear she was alone. She also clearly had a plan. Either someone planned it as a put-up job, or she really liked guys in rabbit suits (this was in the days before anyone knew what furries are). She gave the helpers $5 instead of the $1 for a picture and said she wanted a picture in the Bunny’s lap. Considering that she was not likely to pee on me, and she was cute enough that I probably would have paid her to have her in my lap, I agreed.

She nestled up against me, instructed me to put my arms around her, and struck a pose that made a great picture. I’m not sure what the kids thought, but I liked it. But it didn’t end there. She proceeded to start whispering in the Easter Bunny’s mouth (she knew that the visible ears were about a foot above my real ears). What she whispered was what she wanted the Easter Bunny to bring her and do for her for Easter. I must say, I was as transfixed then as the kids I had in my lap were earlier. I’m sure if my face was visible I would have looked like a deer caught in headlights on a country road. My lap was full of warm, lovely, young woman and she had ideas of what to do with marshmallow chicks and chocolate rabbit ears that I have heard neither before nor since. I had thought it was hot in the costume before, but now it was unbearable — not only were my glasses steamed up, but my eyeballs were clouding over, my brain was fogging inside my skull, and more than my temperature was rising. I’m sure she could tell she was having an effect on the Bunny and she enjoyed it, so she snuggled closer and kept up her monologue, at a volume level that no one else would hear. After what seemed an eternity, she stood up, demurely straightened whatever it was she was wearing, and told the kids in line that if they behaved, she was sure the Easter Bunny would make their wishes come true, because she was sure I’d make hers come true. Then she walked off.

Karen and Donna must have gotten some clue that I was in some distress (perhaps my plaintive whimpering noises), so they decided to close the booth for a short break. I decided I wanted to remove the rabbit head, chase after that woman, and let her know that as the Bunny’s chief helper, I would start right then and there to address her list of requests. I got up and started walking to the changing room, keeping my eyes on where the young lady was.

A little boy who had been waiting in line decided to make his move at that time. He ran up and grabbed my tail. I tried to turn, but only saw the inside of the paper maché. I did hear his mother, however, run up and tell him to let go of it. I assumed she had pried his little fingers off, and besides, I saw my Easter treat walking further away. So, I took a large step forward.

As near as we were able to determine later, the following things happened in roughly the same few milliseconds:

  • the mother gave the little boy a big tug to pull him away from the bunny
  • I took a big stride forward.
  • the tail, securely pinned to the pants, stayed with the pants
  • the seams of the pants, weakened from repeated washings in (undoubtedly) urine-tainted water, gave way
  • my feet, bare except for the terrycloth rabbit feet, failed to find appropriate purchase on the floor
  • the paper maché head was about 20 pounds, and significantly altered my center of gravity

The result of all this is that I ended up sprawled snout-first on the floor, bloodying my nose on the inside of the costume, with the back half of the pants hanging from this kid’s grasp and my underwear on display for all to see. A deafening silence descended on the scene….or maybe I simply was unconscious. Thankfully, Karen or Donna (whichever had the camera) did not snap a picture. Instead, they helped me up and took me to the changing room.

There, we tried to salvage what we could of the costume. I got dressed in my street clothes (somewhat fragrant with the odor of urea), stopped the bleeding from my nose, and exited to look for the vision who had so distracted me. Of course, she had disappeared, and no one I talked to knew who she was or where she had gone.

We lost the deposit on the bunny suit because the head had sustained some damage to the snout in the fall, the pants had been ripped, most of the tails were gone, and the whole thing needed dry cleaning. The result? We made $3 for charity, and I can never look at a chocolate rabbit again without the strangest inappropriate feeling of desire.

Postscript: Almost 29 years to the day after this happened, I received email from Paul, the faculty member who was the advisor to the student government. He had been searching the WWW for former students and tried my name. He wasn’t sure it was me until he read the above story. Then he dove into his files and sent me a picture we took of him, his wife, and me in the bunny outfit…before the wear and tear on the suit! Wow!

Spaf in the bunny suit

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I Need to be Strategic in What I Wish For

March 30, 2023 — spaf

Ok, this is actually in two related parts. Both are related to my social media posts. I often post things on Facebook and Mastadon that might be considered snarky, silly, or bizarre. But then, so am I.

Part I — The Mug

A couple of months ago, I made a post to the effect of “What a disappointment. By this point in my life I thought I would be drinking wine from the skulls of my enemies.”

That post got a number of likes and reposts. Apparently, many other people resonate with that thought?

Then, my birthday rolled around. A friend of my wife had a birthday gift for me. I opened it with some curiosity and found this:

Someone not only resonated with the post, but decided I needed such a cup! (Thank you, Julie!)

I was definitely amused, but did not give it much thought beyond bemused gratitude.

Part II — The Sword and Hat

First, a little backstory.

For the 20th Anniversary of CERIAS in 2018, the academic center I started, my lovely wife conspired with the staff to have bobble head dolls made in my likeness, and a challenge coin with my profile. I was surprised with these at the event. I was a little flustered, but also a little flattered. In the time since, the bobble heads have been auctioned off to raise money for the center, which is good, although I have no idea why anyone would want my likeness staring at them from their bookshelf. I have a stash of the coins I give to surprised and oddly grateful individuals.

Okay, so 2023 is the 25th Anniversary. We’re making all sorts of preparations and I am relieved to know that there are no large boxes containing more bobble heads or voodoo dolls or the like. We also got new challenge coins that don’t have my likeness on them. Whew!

Tuesday night is our reception and official party. Our students are set up around the Union ballroom with posters of their research. We have cakes and munchies, and a hosted bar. There’s large crowd.

I’m asked to go up near the podium because our state representative is going to present an official resolution from the State Assembly noting the anniversary. I was told I would need to say a few words (which was going to be a challenge, because I had a cold and lost my voice).

So, I’m hovering nearby, trying to will my voice back to something that didn’t sound like me going through puberty again. Shawn, one of staff who manages our external relations, goes to the mic and asks everyone to be quiet. When they all focus on her, she says “And now, I’d like Dr. Spafford to say a few words.” I started to approach the podium and she looks and me and says “No, the OTHER Dr. Spafford.” That’s my lovely and accomplished and scheming wife. Uh-oh.

Pattie goes up to the podium and takes command of the room, as only an experienced grade school teacher can. She then said some nice things about me starting the center 25 years before. I don’t quite remember what she said because my mind was racing: What was about to happen?

Then she referred to a social media post I had made last year. In it, I commented on a friend getting an honorary doctorate from a Finnish university. As part of their formal granting of Ph.D. degrees, they bestow the honoree with a top hat and a sword. I opined how I was envious — no place had invited me to get an honorary degree and a sword, or at least a sword. (I do have one honorary D.Sc. from SUNY Brockport; if any other university is interested, I’m available. 😁).

Yes, my wife had gotten me my own sword, engraved with my name and the 25th anniversary. She had affixed one of the new challenge coins to the scabbard in an artful way (as a talented artist would naturally think to do). She summoned me over and presented it to me. She had even added a belt to the scabbard so I could wear it right away. Then she said, “But wait! Let me get my bag!” and reached into a huge paper bag and pulled out a top hat.

  

 

(Click on any image to enlarge)

The top hat is a little loose so I didn’t wear it for long then (we’re getting some pads to make it fit), but I donned the sword. I then managed to make a few semi-coherent but squeaky comments that the crowd seemed to like (after the laughter died down). I wore the sword for the rest of the evening and was commenting how it would probably make faculty meetings shorter if I brought it in. (I have no idea what the university police policy is about being armed with a sword, so I don’t think I’ll actually do that.). The sword, btw, is not combat sharpened but is not far off. A little effort with some good whetstones and I’m ready for a zombie invasion.

Part III — Wishing

My takeaway from this is that I need to be more strategic with the wishes I post on social media. I clearly have an (almost) perfect wife (she’ll read this so I write “almost” to see what she comes up with next). I’ve got a great family. I usually love my job, and clearly the staff around me have great senses of humor.

OK, so perhaps for my next wish, it is to win a big lottery prize. That, or to be invited to a fancy event that requires a top hat and a sword, but doesn’t include zombies. I don’t want to scratch up the sword, after all — it is going to be displayed in a place of honor.

🥰

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Spaf Birthday contributions

March 23, 2023 — spaf

TL;DR: To make a tax-deductible (in the US) contribution, visit this link, pick a way to donate, and when presented with the option to select an area to which to donate, click “Give to an area not listed above,” type in “Spafford Endowment,” and fill in the rest.

More Details

My species also ages. Thus, I have a birthday coming up on March 26.

Facebook has had a feature for years where sponsoring a fundraiser for one’s birthday is possible. The person celebrating (or about to celebrate) a birthday chooses a charitable organization from Facebook’s list. A post is then available on the person’s news feed promoting the organization and seeking donations.

This is a nice feature, I suppose. It does generate some funds for worthy causes. For my birthday in 2022, I had a fundraiser posted that raised over $3300 for World Kitchen Central. That is definitely a worthwhile cause.

However, I wanted to set up a fundraiser that Facebook doesn’t support: for an endowment I have started at my undergraduate alma mater — SUNY (the State University of New York) at Brockport.

I received an outstanding education at Brockport, graduating with a double major in math and computer science. The care and support I received as a student there really helped launch my career. The professors knew their subjects well, knew how to teach, and really care(d) about the students. It isn’t a Tier I research institution, so they weren’t required to write research papers and funding proposals — they could devote extra time to students.

I have established a modest endowment there to help fund four things: the annual CS Best Student award, a guest lecture series to bring expertise to campus, a scholarship program for minority and 1st-generation students, and an enrichment fund to help the faculty innovate in their work. The endowment is small and will (eventually) get the bulk of its funds from a life insurance policy; thus, I won’t be around to see the impact.

However, the items I selected could all use funding now! So, I invite my friends and family to consider donations here for my birthday and any other reason they care to think about. SUNY Brockport is a recognized charitable institution, so contributions in the US (and possibly other places — consult your tax advisor) are deductible.

My sincere thanks in advance for every donation.

Even More Details

After graduating high school, I started my undergrad studies at a major private university. It was costly, and I worked 20 hours a week and commuted from home to afford to attend. I had a small scholarship, but the money was tight all around. The expenses and limited sleep were a constant tension. Then, my father had an accident and badly hurt his back. He lost his job because he couldn’t sit (or stand) to go into the office. (Aside: from having hurt my back a few times in the past, I know all too well how bad this probably was.). My sister was a junior in high school, and my mother could not find more than part-time work; it was apparent I would need to stop out of school and get a job to help the family keep our house and keep the family fed.

This was 1975, and the economy was in rough straits. I had an HS diploma but limited work experience: I worked part-time at a small self-service carwash while attending classes. I applied to several jobs, but the one that resulted in an interview — and a job offer — was as an assistant manager at a big car wash/gas station/car care place. The pay wasn’t outstanding, and some of the work (especially during inclement weather) was awful, but it was income. (I need to write up some of my experiences at that place for the blog someday — probably after I retire from the university).

I worked there for about 18 months. My sister graduated from high school with honors and began thinking about college. Because of finances, she decided to look locally as well as farther away. One of the schools that seemed affordable and a good fit was the (relatively) nearby SUNY College at Brockport.

One day, she asked me to drive her out to the campus for a presentation on a program at Brockport that interested her. I did and decided to sit in on the presentation as I had nothing else to do. The presentation was on a new program named The Alternate College (later, the Delta College). The program was funded with a grant from the Carnegie Foundation and was intended to shorten the time spent as an undergrad. It accomplished this by creating specialty blended, interdisciplinary core courses. Thus, instead of taking (say) a lab sciences course, a mathematics course, and an English composition course in the AC, a student might take a course that involved lab science with statistical interpretation and require the submission of an extensive set of research papers. It was most definitely not an easier path — the classes were 5 or 6 credit hours each, had labs, and a lot of research and writing.

The idea of interdisciplinary courses appealed to me (and has ever since — that interest is echoed in the way I created CERIAS at Purdue). As my father had recently found work again, and I was getting tired of my job, I applied. The idea of paying for only 3 years of college appealed to me, too. It also appealed to my sister, and she also enrolled. We were both math majors in the Alternate College program! (We scheduled our classes so we had minimal overlap — not because we didn’t like each other, but because we thought it would result in fewer conflicts over resources. My sister is actually quite remarkable.)

After three years, we both graduated with honors and dual majors in computer science and mathematics. We both went on to grad school and (eventually) to get our Ph.D.s. The Brockport experience was significant in our success — the welcoming atmosphere, the caring faculty, and the ability to build our own curriculum in only three years all played an important role. The endowment is my way of trying to help others get a similar boost in their lives.

Even MORE Details

A few people read the above and commented that they found the details of my background to be interesting. See my oral history at the Babbage Institute if you want more on the story.

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Some thoughts on the Biden win and aftermath

November 7, 2020 — spaf

It’s November 7, and all the major media outlets (finally) called the election for Joe Biden/Kamala Harris. Of course, that isn’t the same thing as having the Electoral College votes accepted by Congress in January, but it is significant nonetheless.

Keep in mind that Donald Trump is still President of the USA and will be until January 20th (unless he resigns, dies, or is removed under the 25th Amendment).

Those of us who have been horrified and appalled by Donald Trump for the last few years should celebrate, certainly, but it should be tempered by the underlying reality of the situation — there has been a great deal of damage done to the country…actually, to the world. (If you are reading this and think it is sad that Trump lost, you are part of the problem — shame on you.)

Here are some of my random thoughts on the situation and future, in no particular order:

  • Donald Trump is, of course, not accepting this. The idea of a gracious concession will never enter his head, although some of the people around him may push him into it. His fixation is that he can’t lose anything. And “gracious” is a word never applied to him.
  • Joe is a decent person. He really does believe in the “us” in USA. There won’t be a red state/blue state line in what he will do. That is refreshing but we won’t see it in action until January. Until then, the “blue” states are going be “enemy” states to Team Trump — we should hope there is no natural disaster until then.
  • The next few weeks of November will likely be consumed by Trump lawsuits and claims of fraud. No reputable court will give this any consideration. I suspect the SCOTUS will stay out of it, but that is a non-zero certainty.
  • Trump will continue to claim “fraud” well past January 20th. This is, in part, because he is psychologically unable to admit he lost anything. It is also because he is using it to raise funds from the gullible to retire campaign debt and (eventually) line his own pockets.
  • The remainder of the time until January 20th may well consist of “burn it all down and salt the ashes.” I expect that Team Trump will attempt to fire every competent person possible in the Federal government and issue every Executive Order they can to disrupt good government. He will also fire cronies who he thinks did not work hard enough to get him reelected even though that was not their job. He has already started to turn on Fox News, as an example of the latter. He may throw around pardons for cronies, especially those who can incriminate him.
  • The Senate runoff races in Georgia will be pivotal. If the GOP retains the Senate, expect McConnell to spend the next 2 or 4 years blocking nearly every initiative and appointment by President Biden. That could greatly hinder undoing the damage wrought by Team Trump.
  • Expect the COVID-19 crisis to get steadily worse. There will be no action by Team Trump to fix things. He will veto any bill passed by the lame-duck Congress (if any). Expect Trump to try to fire Drs. Bix and Fauci. January will be a very late start on reasonable health precautions. Many people will continue to view it as a “hoax” even as the death toll rises.
  • The GOP is already switching into “But the deficit….” mode, even though they are the ones who caused much of it. Expect to see that as the reason to push back against attempts to set policies or laws.
  • The Democratic Party has already started circling the wagons and shooting inwards over why they didn’t win the Senate outright, and why they lost seats in the House. If they don’t get their act together and focus on a common message they could lose both houses of Congress in the 2022 elections.
  • There should be great emphasis placed on Kamala Harris being elected VP. Many firsts there, and there is a non-zero change she could be the first woman President of the USA at some point, although her being the candidate in 2024 is definitely not a given.
  • The possibility of Trump resigning before January with a deal to have Pence pardon him is non-zero. However, Pence — a consummate suck-up and politician — will carefully consider whether that will fatally taint any possibility of his becoming President in the future. A double-cross would not be beyond him. Of course, a pardon doesn’t excuse state charges. And who would pardon Pence?
  • Expect to see some outbreaks of civil unrest, possibly armed, in the coming months. The racists and bigots were empowered for 4 years and they will not quietly return to the shadows. The idea of treating others with respect is not going to sit well with the ones who speed around with Confederate battle flags flying from their trucks, and who take pride of walking into grocery stores with 5 visible guns.
  • Voting rights and voting access reform will be a high priority, but see above my comments on the Senate.
  • Considerations of statehood for DC and Puerto Rico should be on the agenda, but see my comments on the Senate.
  • Biden is experienced in international affairs, so simply having him as President will begin to heal some of the wounds Trump has inflicted on our international relations. More explicit actions will help; NATO, the UN, WHO, the Paris Accords, and perhaps the Iranian situation could all be early beneficiaries. Reports are already coming in of people cheering in the streets and church bells peeling in dozens of countries around the world.
  • There will be a growing tide of Republicans claiming “I worked for him to silently limit the damage.” This should be ignored — those people willingly enabled him if they were in political appointments. We should forgive differences of political opinion, but not forget or forgive enabling evil.
  • We are likely to see a lot of stories of graft and incompetence about current officials after competent officials take office. Does anyone really believe that (for example) Betsy DeVos or Ben Carson have done exemplary jobs? These need to be prosecuted, when appropriate, to set a message for the future.
  • President Biden may be tempted to pardon or overlook criminal aspects of the Trump presidency in the spirit of “moving on.” That should be avoided because of the extensive flouting of laws and norms over the last 4 years. A special prosecutor for Hatch Act violations would be a great start.
  • People fantasize about Donald Trump fleeing the country and seeking asylum overseas. That seems unlikely — he simply cannot accept that he has done anything wrong or will be held to account. Also, it is unlikely that any country where he would wish to settle would take the political risk to offer asylum.
  • The damage to environmental regulations and national parks will take years to correct. Expect lots of pushback from the oil and coal companies, and lots of rhetoric around “green deals” making recovery more difficult.
  • QAnon will continue, although it will contnue to morph into new theories. Some of the more fanatical may turn to violence. This is a problem that may be with us for decades. Let’s hope law enforcement has been watching them. Many of the adherents are so far removed from reality that they will be an on-going danger to themselves and the rest of us for years to come.
  • If Trump dies in the next couple of years — as is possible given his poor physical condition, deteriorating mental state, and poor lifestyle choices — the conspiracy nuts are going to have a field day. He will get a state funeral, but it will be perfunctory, and perhaps trigger violent protests.
  • No evidence shown so far of any significant foreign interference in this election, which is good. That is both a credit to those standing watch, and perhaps to the realization of foreign actors that there would be a heavy price to pay if they were discovered.
  • Reforms in health care are urgently needed, but see my comments about the Senate.
  • If the GOP keeps the Senate, expect to see more BS “investigations” of Hunter Biden, vote fraud, etc.
  • When the loans that Donald Trump personally guaranteed come due, break out the popcorn. He is over-leveraged. Expect him to try all sorts of things to make money between now and then (ghost-written books “I Was Robbed!”, and a featured show on OANN) but he is likely to get wiped out. Many interesting stories may emerge.
  • Expect fundraising for “Trump 2024.” It won’t really go to a campaign, but to pay legal costs and further enrich Trump enterprises. The faithful won’t know or care. See my comments about his fraud accusations, above.
  • We should not be surprised to see a separation, if not divorce, from Melania as early as 2021.
  • Expect some level of maneuvering from Ivanka and Don Jr. to run for the GOP nomination in 2024. Hopefully, this will fail early, but the Cult of Trump may give them considerable traction.
  • Jared has probably made a lot of promises to unsavory characters that he will not be able to keep. I expect drama there in the next couple of years.
  • I cannot imagine the Trumps even being in DC on Inauguration Day, let alone be present at the swearing-in. The Pences might be present. The Donald will likely leave the White House around Christmas/New Year for Florida. He will not return to DC but continue to claim “fraud” from Florida, between golf rounds.
  • Repairing the damage to the USPS will not be quick. There needs to be some fundamental change in the law requiring the 75-year advance funding of pensions, but see my comments about the Senate.
  • I expect some problems for at least some of the Trump spawn. Don Jr has a probable drug problem, for example. All of the eldest 3 have violated the Hatch Act. And when Daddy’s loans come due they are going to have to cope with no inheritance.
  • The stock market is likely to embrace the coming stability, although the COVID crises may dominate. Reasonable trade policies returning (think TPP, Canada, etc) could really help both farming and manufacturing. The situation w.r.t. China is more complex and vexing, and that will complicate some recovery.
  • Mike Pence may bide his time, seeking to run for President in 2024 or 2028. Many people will long remember he was the one in charge of the COVID-19 Taskforce, and therefore owns much of the disaster that has resulted. He also will have the reputation of being quiet about all the Donald Trump abuses.
  • The southern border situation is such a mess that it will take some time to untangle. There should be prosecutions for human rights abuses but that is less important than reuniting families and processing delayed asylum requests.
  • Russia, North Korea, and China should be cautious — they will be dealing with a seasoned political team, not a bully who admires other bullies.
  • I expect the new administration to be friendly to science and education. Resources will be stretched, however, so I don’t expect big increases in funding right away.
  • There may be unrest among some Democratic supporters that their needs aren’t among the first addressed. Patience has worn thin over the last 4 years already. This is a danger, both in the near term for getting things done, and for the medium term in upcoming elections.

People who celebrate the Biden win are willing to discuss differences of political views on issues such as tax policy. In that sense, “reaching across the aisle” is reasonable. However, issues of basic human rights and decency are not political. Caging people at the border is not a political issue. Giving law enforcement officers immunity when they wantonly injure or kill minorities is not a political issue. Letting people die because they cannot afford basic health care is not a political issue. The list goes on.

It is terribly disturbing to think of the number of people who voted for Trump and his enablers in the election. Many of them were single issue voters (abortion, gun ownership, immigrants, “socialism,” etc.). Even so, that required the people involved to excuse bigotry, criminal behavior, and cruelty in favor of that single issue. Some of those people won’t even admit to themselves their own heartlessness but project that onto other things, such as those single issues; for instance, it was crime, or the economy, or China not that they actually embraced the mistreatment of immigrants.

Ignorance enables bigotry, and outlets from InfoWars to Breitbart to Fox News to OANN simply magnified it. Our freedom of speech is a strength but it is also a weakness. We have too many people who are unwilling to investigate or consider factual evidence (witness the rise of Qanon, antiivaxxers, flat earthers, and “alternative facts”), and too many lack the education to process the information. This needs urgent attention and cannot be fixed overnight or in a simplistic manner. Unfortunately, there is a wing of the political spectrum that wants to keep the status quo because it enables them to seed chaos and harvest the results as support.

Part of what empowered the election of Trump was simply bigotry. The fact that a person of color was President (Barack Obama) was simply untenable to too many people. We also had a lot of people who simply could not consider electing a woman as President. Combine those two and amplify them — which the GOP has generally done subliminally and sometimes overtly, for years — and Trump developed quite a following. Because Trump and his minions fanned the flames with the talk of immigrants and asylum-seekers being criminals, BLM being anarchists, and racists were “very fine people,” his followers have become more like a cult. Political and religious leaders have reinforced that devotion as a way to bolster their own fortunes.

Most cults fade after their leaders fall. We can only hope that this happens now with Trumpers, but the underlying causes of their obsession will remain. Thus, it is likely that their fealty will get transferred to someone else who stokes their fear and hatred of “others.” We should view this as perhaps our #1 threat for the future (with climate change as #2). Fear and hatred are powerful motivators and have led to the fall of more than one civilization. As I saw someone note online, 150 years after our Civil War, people are still flying the flags of those who committed treason in support of slavery; we may have Trump flags flying for generations for this latest 4 year excursion into hate.

Those of us who believe in equal rights, who have empathy for others, who believe in helping the downtrodden, poor, and ill, who believe that we are not alone in the world, and who want to protect our environment for future generations — we can celebrate for a short while. But we should not lose sight of the fact that there are huge challenges still ahead. The fight against greed and hate needs to continue.

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Induction in the AAA&S

October 7, 2020 — spaf

As I type this, I am being inducted as a Fellow of the American Academy of Arts and Sciences. This is the mission statement of the organization:

Founded in 1780, the American Academy of Arts and Sciences honors excellence and convenes leaders from every field of human endeavor to examine new ideas, address issues of importance to the nation and the world, and work together “to cultivate every art and science which may tend to advance the interest, honor, dignity, and happiness of a free, independent, and virtuous people.”

This is considered a great honor, with a long history of recognition of outstanding achievers. I’m still a bit amazed by being selected.

Here is my acceptance letter that captures some of my thoughts about this:

June 24, 2020

Dr. Nancy Andrews and Dr. David Oxtoby

American Academy of Arts and Sciences

Norton’s Woods

136 Irving Street

Cambridge, MA 02138-1966

Greetings,

I have decided to write a paper letter of acceptance to accompany my prior, emailed acceptance of the honor you have extended to me. It has taken me these many weeks to think through what I wanted to write. I have written this letter several time and still am uncertain if I have fully captured my thoughts about this singular honor.

When I started my undergraduate degree 45 years ago, I had no particular illusion of achieving distinction. However, I did hope to excel in my studies and was fortunate to do so.  I knew I wanted to set my sights on lofty goals but I was unsure of what I wanted to pursue, other than to have some positive effect.  

Early in my studies, I discovered an interest in and facility with computing. The more I studied, the more interested I became, Computer science, as a discipline, is devoted to the study of what can be computed, and how to structure and optimize those computations. However, my primary interests were somewhat outside of that scope. I was more focused on how computing might affect the lives of people who used — or misused — computers.  My focus in computing was thus more how to build and operate the systems to advance human values. This interest was unusual for the time, and not all of my professors and peers understood it, although they appreciated my intent to work in academia and generally supported my pursuits.  I had found my path.

Over the last three decades, my professional work has continued to stress an interdisciplinary approach to reliable computing, including work in fault tolerance, software engineering, cybersecurity, and privacy. I have been fortunate to have support here at Purdue to build a research center and inspire others with my vision. However, through the years, some of my colleagues have stated that what I am doing is not science, is not research, merely is systems maintainance, and is “fuzzy thinking.” Even some of my colleagues here at Purdue to this day dismiss what I do as “not scholarly” despite contrary evidence in the form of recognition by organizations in the field.

My election to the American Academic of Arts and Sciences is very welcome. Obviously, I appreciate the recognition by a distinguished body that I have achieved at a significant level.  Perhaps more importantly, this is a notable recognition outside the technical confines of my field. The Academy recognizes contributions to society from many different perspectives and approaches: art is an ally of science, social sciences and technical disciplines contribute together, and achievement has many metrics.  That broad perspective aligns with how I have striven to shape what “cybersecurity” should be — not merely crafting computers to restrict certain behaviors but to build ecosystems that are supportive of human well-being.  Thus, I view my election to the Academy as an external validation of the approach I have taken, and I am deeply grateful for that.

In summary, I am deeply humbled at this honor. I am grateful to those who have supported me in my efforts who undoubtedly should share some in this if there was a way to recognize them; none of us labors in isolation. I look forward to the induction and, thereafter, my involvement in the Academy.

With gratitude,

Eugene H, Spafford, Ph.D.
Professor and Emeritus Executive Director

As a Fellow of ACM, IEEE, ISSA, ISC², AAAS, and now AAA&S, I guess perhaps I have made an impact — much more than I imagined in my wildest dreams. At least others seem to think so, even if I am not so sure of it.

What’s more, I managed to achieve this despite people who thought what I was doing wasn’t important, wasn’t scholarly, and wasn’t CS. I haven’t pursued my goals based on funding or current trends. I have continued to try to fix problems that vex others, and to seek to do what is right.

You too can change the world. Focus on doing good things for others, and even if you don’t get a recognition like this you will still make a difference that really matters. And don’t be disappointed if it doesn’t happen right away!

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Righting wrongs

June 4, 2020 — spaf

I’ve been silent on social media about the racial conflict that has flared up in recent days. It isn’t because I am silent about it in real life, because I regularly speak up about that when I see it, and have done so for most of my life. The people who know me know I have no tolerance for any bigoted nonsense.

On social media, I’m not tagging my black friends because they know I am an ally. I am also not tagging my Latino friends, my LBGTQ friends, my Islamic friends, my Jewish friends, my friends of Asian heritage, my disabled friends, or anyone else. They know if they need my help, I’m here.  And I’m not going to give Facebook and Twitter more info for marketing and tracking.

I’m not trying to share quotes or insights about this online. I’m trying to listen to other’s voices and understand things that I have not been forced to directly experience. I may never fully understand it, but I see too much of it occurring, and have over my lifetime.

I don’t believe Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or blogging is real life. Much of that online culture is actually somewhat destructive of values I hold dear. I use it to have a path to friends I might otherwise lose in the shuffle of life. That, and to see the occasional meme or joke.  But I don’t mistake it as a real place where we live.

I fear that too many people get caught up in posting, or marching, or sending money — today — and in a few weeks will be back focusing on cat videos and pictures of their sourdough bread. The way to make a difference is to live the difference, and consciously engage in dialog with others, consciously speak out about injustice, and seek to be a better person every day.

I truly hope that the people I see whose posts are all about the rioting rather than the reasons for the rioting look deep inside themselves about what matters. I hope that those whose concern seems to be mostly about the property are not really that shallow — that it is an artifact of the posts that are shown to me.

I advise you each hug the other person (when the SARS-COV-2 threat is past and assuming they consent), or fist bump, or lock arms, or whatever is involved in showing you are not scared of someone who is different. Share your humanity. Reach out to others. Life is too short and too difficult to spend any of it hating another person because of looks, or religious beliefs, or who they find attractive. Instead, open your heart on a regular basis. (Although, do try to avoid toxic people, like Trump supporters.)

As John Wesly advised 300 years ago:

Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can.

Whether you support victims of injustice or not isn’t a matter of what you post; your support is measured in what you say and do and how you live the rest of your days. Make it count.

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Old bio

June 4, 2020 — spaf

OMG. My friends Dolores and Wayne Zage ran across a bio I gave them over a dozen years ago when I spoke at an event they sponsored. It is still fresh today, although the “20” years” is now “33”:

Oddly, Spaf was born many years ago on, of all days, his birthday. He was the first child for his poor but proud parents, and his arrival changed their lives forever: although they continued to be poor, they were never proud again.

After some time, many dreary experiences, and repeated electroshock therapy, Spaf obtained degrees in math, computer science, and beer (the latter was an honorary degree, bestowed by peers) from Georgia Tech. It wasn’t so much the work he did as it was his ability to annoy his committee to the point of getting him out the door in 1986. He spent the next year engaged in activities that he now describes as “a postdoc…nothing more, and certainly nothing involving explosives” in a low voice accompanied by furtive glances over his shoulder.

At Purdue since 1987, Professor Spafford is still unclear when the statute of limitations runs out for his “postdoc.” However, after 20 years in Indiana, he is beginning to relax about possibly visiting several Southern states and Central American countries again, and he no longer giggles nervously when people mention “grits” or “kudzu.”

Spaf, as he is known to his students and therapists, is alleged to work in the areas of information security, science policy, and computing ethics. Despite having a crack staff at CERIAS, many colleagues, and more than a few students, none have actually seen him “work,” although all have seen him arrive late, leave early, and supposedly drive to the airport at least once a week.

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11 Bits of Advice Based on Experience

June 10, 2019 — spaf

I wrote an answer to a question on Quora, asking for advice I would give to anyone.  As with many things on Quora, the question got changed, the answer got buried, and people moved on.

I was reminded of the list today.  I still think it is pretty good, and it is based on life experience.  I added one more point to the list I posted on Quora.  I try to follow these principles and think they are sound.  I decided I would share it here, as I have not written much recently (I’m really slammed with my sabbatical this year).

  1. Do things because they are right to do, not because you think anyone is paying attention, or that you will get some reward (or suffer a consequence if you don’t do them). Doing what is right is its own reward.
  2. Don’t judge yourself too harshly. Normally, one sees one’s own foibles and shortcomings more readily than others do, while overestimating the abilities of others. (See also imposter syndrome.) However, don’t get overconfidence in what you think you know or can do. (See also Dunning-Kruger.) Success lies in understanding your limits, operating within them, and seeking to extend them.
  3. Everyone has sadness, loss, struggles, and fears, although the majority only show (and sometimes exaggerate) to others their success, happiness, and strengths. Don’t be fooled into thinking you have more negative in your life, or that others are somehow happier than you are.
  4. Try to practice kindness and patience; always practice respect. Appearances and circumstances may be deceiving. Even if they aren’t, try to treat others at least as well as you would like to be treated.
  5. Look back on past mistakes as learning experiences, not as regrets. Don’t dwell on them — you have the future to do better! That also means taking ownership of when you make mistakes. Admit them, take responsibility, and move on.
  6. Life isn’t fair. If there is some purpose or rationale, it is almost certainly beyond our ken. Don’t envy others, or curse what has happened — neither makes things better. Instead, keep focused on how to make “next” better. As long as you get up one more time than you are knocked down, you have chances to make things better.
  7. Learn to be comfortable being alone. Love and friendship are wonderful if and when you can find them, but much of your life — and often, even in a relationship — you spend alone, in your thoughts, if not in the physical sense.
  8. Don’t be shy about expressing yourself. Learn to say “no” when you want to, and to say “I love you” when you feel it. You are entitled to your feelings and autonomy as much as anyone else. (And as related to other things on Quora — that doesn’t mean you are entitled to your own facts, or that your opinions are necessarily correct, or that people won’t react negatively. But you have to own your own feelings and agency.)
  9. You are not responsible for the feelings or success (or failure) of any other adult. Don’t let others blame you for things you didn’t do, or try to make you feel guilty about something you didn’t cause.
  10. Find joy in the world around you. Sunsets, flowers, babies, art, smiles, snowflakes, stars…. the world is filled with wonder. Experience it. Learn about it. Don’t let anything become too commonplace to miss out on it.
  11. Never stop learning.  Learning new things will not only help keep you sharp, but it can foster new directions in your life.  When one stops learning is when one really begins decline; plants grow by putting up new shoots, animals grow by adding size, and people grow by adding new thoughts and experiences.
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Not Dead Yet!

January 31, 2019 — spaf

I’m not sure how many people actually follow my blog posts here, but you may have noticed a long hiatus.  No, nothing is wrong.  I’m on a year-long sabbatical from Purdue and that is keeping me extraordinarily busy.  That, along with some of my work with ACM, means I am on the road a lot, with several visits around the country and trips to New England, London, and California tossed in.

Part of my sabbatical is in New Mexico, and thus I’ve updated my blog post about visiting the state.  As Pattie and I have more adventures there, I will update that post.

Purdue recently posted a short profile of me, as part of their 150th anniversary celebration.  You can see it here.

As time and events allow, I will post more here.

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Be it resolved (2018 edition)

December 31, 2017 — spaf

In prior years (e.g., 2017), I wrote New Year’s resolutions.   As I look through last year’s set I realize that I yet again managed to keep them all (although I haven’t yet started to learn Russian) and should set some of them as goals for this year, too — in particular, 2, 4, 5, 7, 9, and 14.

It has been a scary and glorious year.  Glorious, as the first year of marriage has been wonderful, including all sorts of travel, surprises, and good times.  Scary, because the kakistocracy in office in the US make me worried for not only my own future, but that of generations to come.

Be that as it may, I will set some modest resolutions for this year.   #7 and #8 are for Pattie, based on some of my misadventures this year.

1-6 as above.

    1. Do not get on a Segway again….when she’s watching.
    2. Do not attempt to make popcorn in the microwave without adult supervision.

Beyond that I’m coming up blank.  That is depressing, but maybe it means I am finally coming to terms with what fate has done to me?

Whatever the reasons and the resolutions, I wish each and everyone of you a Happy New Year!  I continue to encourage you to treat every person — especially those who are poor, sick, or downtrodden — with kindness and respect no less than what you, yourself, would expect.  If you make that YOUR resolution, it will help make 2018 a better year than it would have been otherwise.

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